Real Men Cry

I know that most people think crying is a sign of weakness and also know that you are to never shed tears in public! But here is the truth, it is a scientific fact that if you have a strong urge to bawl your eyes out, there is probably a good reason why. You probably have so much emotion building up in your body that your eyes start to water, whether it's pure joy or sadness. This is your body's natural way to relieve stress. A good cry, like a tough workout can be an amazing release. Crying can help free those powerful emotions deep down within our soul. "Humans have the ability to cry in order to remove in their tears chemicals that build up during stress, so they are literally crying it out." says Dr. William H. Frey, M.D., a professor of pharmaceutics and neuroscience at the University of Minnesota. He also wrote a book on the subject called "Crying: The Mystery of Tears". His research shows that your emotional tears actually have different chemical composition from the tears that come from, say cutting an onion. "You exhale to remove carbon dioxide. You urinate to get rid of urea. I believe that you cry to get rid of stress." [William H. Frey]

Women can shed tears more freely than men because it is more acceptable. It is a rare thing to see men crying. Most men don't even consider crying as an alternative, but we should put down that shield and use this natural stress reliever.

Even Jesus Christ knew the benefits of crying. When he found out about his friend Lazarus who had died, he went to go visit him and his sisters. When Jesus came to Lazarus's tomb he wept with Mary and those around him.

"When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."Where have you laid him?" he asked."Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept." [John 11:32-35 NIV]

I believe that Jesus was so overwhelmed with emotion that he wept, but he also did it to help comfort Mary. If you noticed that he encountered Lazarus's other sister Martha before he met up with Mary. He didn't cry with her, because she was a different person. Different people are comforted in different ways. People like Martha just need to hear encouraging words.

"Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."" [John 11:23-27 NIV]

People like Mary just need somebody to mourn with. That is how great Jesus the Christ is, he comforted Martha and Mary, both in their own ways!

I remember when I was just diagnosed with diabetes, I was hanging out with a friend, and I felt pretty overwhelmed. I started to cry. Right in front of my friend I was bawling my eyes out. The worst part was he just ignored me! I felt so vulnerable and weak. All he had to do was say something but he didn't. After a short while I stopped crying, I felt better even through that embarrassing moment, and I wiped the tears from my face. We never spoke about that moment again and soon after that we just went our separate ways. It's kind of weird that this was my best friend, and that seemed to be the end our friendship. Not that I hold anything against him, but all he had to do was say something. I wouldn't know what to say if it was him, that was crying. But I know I would of said something followed by a pat on the back or even a hug!


Lori said...

How could you not say something to someone crying? That's like a knee jerk reflection ...maybe because I've been there-done that. I'm really sensitive to people hurting :)

The Bible Post said...

Thomas, this was a very moving post!

And no, there is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions with tears.

Just as there is a time for laughter, there is a time to weep. And for those who are able to express their emotions in this way, they prove that they are far stronger than those who try to conceal them.

So you had nothing to be embarrassed about when you cried in front of your friend.

Blessings to you...

P.S. You are a good friend, Thomas; and I am thankful that God has brought us together.

Christina said...

Hi, Thomas...I'm so sorry to hear that your former friend was so unresponsive when you broke it a guy thing? But, you know, I'm much older than you, and female, but there's something about me that at times when I get upset, tear up or whatever, people seem uncomfortable and don't really do much to help. They get that blank look.

Sometimes I guess people can't empathize, depending on their life experiences.

ThomasCSlater said...

Thanks Lori, Chris, and Christina for your kind words!

I think you are both right, Lori and Christina, they just can't relate, so they just sit there, with that blank look!

Is it a guy thing? I feel that some men don't know how to express themselves especially with other men. I'm guessing it's from how society views crying as a weakness not as a way to relieve stress :)

Chris you are correct there is a time to laugh and there is a time to cry, nothing to be ashamed for.

Thanks Chris for that post script, I am also thankful for your friendship.

Christina said...

BTW, Thomas, that was good insight, how Jesus comforted Martha & Mary in dif ways, I never saw that b4...was thinking of this at work earlier, and had a great insight of my own, but now I can't remember it! lol

ThomasCSlater said...

haha, hate when that happens! Got to keep a notepad around! :)

Mulled Vine said...

Hey thanks for stopping by and the interesting links! Robert

ThomasCSlater said...

Robert, it's not a problem. :)